The Value of Mentorship

Recently I was talking with a friend about the idea of mentoring relationships: what that looks like, and why mentoring is important. I'm not sure if she realized it, but I actually considered her a "mentor," and I value her wisdom and maturity as much as I do her friendship.

When you think of the word "mentor," what kinds of images come to mind? The picture that usually jumps into my mind initially looks something like a young Luke Skywalker conversing with Yoda.... old (and by old, I mean REALLY old. Elderly old. White hair, gray wispy beard OLD) imparting wise sayings to a young charge over a cup of herbal tea ("Size matters not, ... Look at me. Judge me by size, do you?”) and generally being boring with one another. Maybe the occasional Light Sabre match. But overall, BORING.

Is that what mentoring is really all about? I suppose there is much to be learned by sitting at the feet of one who emulates Socrates and listening to wise sayings all day long. But I think sometimes Christians make mentoring too complicated. Mentoring doesn't have to be about Bible study (though I'm certainly not knocking Bible studies.) What mentoring should be about is friendship.

About a year ago my husband and I took a course on marriage mentoring. The basic philosophy of this particular program is that married couples need mentors in the way of another married couple who is more experienced at marriage, that is, who have been married longer. The program encourages these "experienced" couples to get together with a newly married couple on a regular basis, not for Bible study or to discuss philosophy, but just to talk. To hang out, have coffee, talk about what married life is like, bounce questions and ideas off one another.

Mentors in this particular program didn't have to be Bible scholars, nor were they expected to know all the answers. They are simply asked to befriend and listen.

I think THAT is what mentoring is really about. Whether it's marriage mentoring, or mentoring in general, it's not about mentors having all the answers or being perfect Christians. It's about sharing one's own greater experience with someone less experienced.

I have a number of mentors in my own life who are older than I am, some just a few years older, others who are decades more experienced at life than I. In fact, my best friend is twenty years older than I am, and I cherish her as both a friend and a mentor. I don't know if she realizes how smart she is, and I know that she doesn't "know it all," but I value her life experiences and treasure her willingness to share those experiences with me (both the good and the bad.)

I believe I've grown a great deal under her "counsel," which usually consists of us chatting over a cup of coffee or taking a walk together. It's nothing complicated, and often we don't even talk about "deep" issues when we're together. Nevertheless, her experience and maturity has definitely enriched my life, even if we're just comparing lasagna recipes or complaining about our husbands' snoring!

I also have relationships where I myself might be considered the mentor. And I know that being on the mentoring end of the relationship is just as rewarding as being the mentoree (is that even a word?) I know I also have a great deal to gain from investing myself in a younger generation. I know that my young friends don't expect me to have all the answers (thank God, because most of the time I'm really, really dumb,) just like I know that MY mentors don't have all the answers. And that's okay with them. Because it's more about listening and caring and less about giving answers.

When I step back and take a look at both those who mentor me, and those whom I mentor, there is a span of three generations between them all. What a simple but powerful way to fulfill God's simple command to "love one another." It amazes me to think about the wealth of experience that is being passed down the chain from the oldest to the youngest. And this pattern is being replicated over and over again, not only in my own church but in the church at large, the worldwide Bride of Christ. Think of how the world could change if everyone had mentor!

Earth Day is Special When you Know the Creator

Earth Day is celebrating its 29th birthday this year. Earth Day was first founded in 1970 by American Senator Gaylord Nelson who hailed from the state of Wisconsin. Nelson was an activist on a number of fronts, including health care and the environment.

The political climate leading up to the first Earth Day, April 22, 1970, was not unlike today's political climate. Concern for the environment was charged with fear, with one major difference: 29 years ago, the great fear was over global cooling.

Nevertheless, Nelson's efforts sparked a movement that has continued for nearly three decades. While interest in Earth Day and its celebrations has waxed and waned during that period, the current political climate has inspired renewed interest in Earth Day and all that it entails. This is likely due in large part to Al Gore's 2006
film An Inconvenient Truth. And while it has since been criticized for some of its faulty reasoning and misguided use of "facts," it has helped to raise a new awareness of this planet on which we reside, and which we must one day leave to our children and grandchildren.

But what should Earth Day mean to Christians and the church? Earth Day has historically been celebrated as a grassroots movement by environmentally-minded organizations and the odd ruling government. One rarely hears of churches making an effort to join in on the front lines of stewardship of our planet.

This is unfortunate, since Earth Day is rife with opportunities for the church to rub shoulders with people in the communities in which they minister. Ordinary citizens are more open to embracing conservation and stewardship now than they have been in twenty years, making it a virtual mission field just waiting to be permeated by those who should know best the value of caring for the earth.

Who better to lead the way in conserving, sustaining and nurturing the planet than those to whom God Himself gave the direct charge? From His very first command to Adam to "...fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves over the ground" (Gen. 1:28) to the reminder in Psalm 115:16 that "The highest heavens belong to the Lord, but the earth He has given to man," to the hundreds of other verses which proclaim the Lord's love for His creation, it's clear that conservation and stewardship are Biblically sound principles.

Of course, man went on to fall from grace, which ultimately made caring for the earth, and in particular, reaping the fruits of the earth, more difficult. This may be all the more reason that the church should be leading the way when in making our planet greener and healthier. We have centuries of earth-abuse and taking for granted God's creation to make up for.

While they are becoming more common, I still see very few churches with recycling bins. Many have them in their offices, but I've seen just a handful with recycling bins in even the main entryway, let alone every room that is used by the public. What a simple way for the church to show care and responsibility for the world that God has so graciously given for us to enjoy!

There are many things that churches can do to set an example and take seriously God's command to care for earth. (And by the way, they can do them all year round, not just on April 22):

*Switch to biodegradable products. Our church recently switched from styrofoam to biodegradable coffee cups. They cost a little bit more than the styrofoam kind, but we estimate that our church will be keeping between twenty-six and thirty thousand styrofoam cups out of our landfill each year.

*Employ water conservation techniques. High-efficiency toilets can save tens of thousands to millions of gallons of water per year, depending on the size of your church. Installing rain barrels keeps rain water from being wasted: use the water they collect to keep the grounds and gardens beautiful without turning on the tap.

*Use blue bins. Even if you can't afford to put them in every room in the building, at least put a few large ones in central, high-traffic areas, rather than just in the office. Then encourage parishioners to keep recyclables out of the church garbage cans.

*Compost organic matter. Think of all those grass clippings and leftovers from church dinners. Compost it all, and then donate it to individual gardeners in the church, or to a local community gardens project. Or, feed the church's flower beds with it.

*Adopt a highway. Many communities in North America have Adopt-a-Highway programs. Your church can join and commit to picking up garbage along a particular stretch of road in your community. The commitment level is usually once per month for a few hours. Your local roads department usually supplies gloves, garbage pick-up sticks, bags and safety gear. This is an excellent way to raise your church's profile in your home community.

There are hundreds of ways your church can become green, reduce its carbon footprint, and shine the light of stewardship in your local community. It's one small way to bring honor and glory "to Him alone who does great wonders, who by His understanding made the heavens, who spread out the earth upon the waters, who made the great lights- the sun to govern the day, the moon and stars to govern the night... His love endures forever!" (From Psalm 136:4-9.) And this year on Earth Day, celebrate the fact that you know the Creator personally.

Supporting the VISIBLE Ministers

When you're involved in a VISIBLE ministry in a church, sometimes you have the opposite problem from those invisible ministers we looked at last week. "Visible" ministers are those whom everyone at church can see, in real time, doing ministry. They are the preachers, teachers, group leaders and worship team musicians. They are the ones who have chosen to take on a position, whether professional or lay, that puts them in something of a spotlight.

While invisible ministers can be hard to pin down ("Boy, I wish I knew who designs all those great advertising posters."), visible ministers can't be ignored. As such, they are often subject to a great deal more criticism than the church's invisible ministers.

Those who minister in positions where they are seen by so many other people do so because God has gifted them specifically to preach, teach, sing, lead, etc. Let's face it: getting up in front of a crowd is not everyone's cup of tea (or coffee, as the case may be.) It takes a special kind of anointing! But even those who enjoy being in front of people get discouraged when others feel that they are justified in doling out criticism, as if "they asked for it."

Here's how you can lend your support to all those "visible ministers" in your own church:

1) Recognize the emotional toll of visible ministry: Even for the most gifted orators, it takes a great deal of emotional energy to get up in front of a group of people and carry out whatever task God has entrusted him or her with. As such, it's best not to catch the pastor immediately after the service to criticize his poor grammar during his sermon. Nor should you comment to the pianist that her timing was off from the rest of the worship band. These kinds of comments are very defeating, and may actually sap what little energy the person has left.

2) Don't sweat the small stuff: If you sat through a compelling Bible study and all you came away with was the thought that the teacher's skirt was too short, you've missed the point. Focus on what's really important. And please, don't talk about her clothing choice with other people!

3) Cut them some slack: Because visible ministry can take such an emotional toll, visible ministers sometimes need to take a break from their ministries. This is okay! Even Jesus got tired and escaped to the hills to pray and find spiritual refreshment. Never criticize a visible minister for "not using his/her gifts." Besides, just because he or she isn't up front any more doesn't mean he or she isn't still serving somewhere.

4) Don't put visible ministers on a pedestal: People who serve as teachers and preachers and in various other public ministries are no different than anyone else in the church. They hurt sometimes. They get tired. And they even stumble. They're as human as every other church member.

And by all means, offer verbal thanks and encouragement. A word of thanks can be all it takes to restore that lost emotional energy.

Supporting the "Invisible Ministers"

These "Invisible Ministers" that I speak of are not super-heroes with the power to disappear at will. But I often think they are the real "super-heroes" of the church. The invisible ministers are the ones that the church at large almost never sees and rarely hears. They are the ones who do some of the hardest, most tedious and monotonous jobs around the building, in worship services and at gatherings.

The invisible ministers are the people who get up early and get to church on Sunday before everyone else so that they can make the coffee. They are the ones who volunteer to climb the scaffolding at every spring cleaning bee to polish the stained glass windows in the sanctuary. They are the ladies who spend hours each week cutting shapes out of construction paper for the Sunday School children's craft. They are the men who replace the worn and broken ceiling tiles in the church social hall.

Sometimes we church-goers put a lot of stock in our VISIBLE ministers: the ones who sing or play an instrument on a worship team, the preachers, the teachers, the leaders, the movers and the shakers. And of course, their roles are extremely important. But often we get so caught up in the visible that we forget about the invisible.

Imagine fellowship times without coffee or clean dishes. Imagine trying to entertain Sunday School children for an hour without a craft to put together. What would it be like if nobody shoveled the walkway to the front doors? What if no one ever pruned the rose bushes or planted new marigolds in the spring? What if communion ceased because no one volunteered to fill the communion cups or prepare the bread? All of these roles are equally important in the church at large. And it is these volunteers who get the least thanks for their roles.

There's a good chance that most of these volunteers don't do what they do in order to get recognition. Some may even prefer to serve "behind the scenes." But a "thank you" is always nice just the same, and may be just the shot of energy that an invisible minister needs to keep on doing what he or she is doing.

Some of the best ways to thank them are also the easiest:

1)Make a point to find out who does a particular job in your church: Next time you're at a potluck, take a minute to personally thank the dishwashers and table setters. If you taste a particularly delicious pastry on a Sunday morning, find out who baked it and let them know how much you enjoyed it. Keep your eyes open and look around: there are probably dozens of little things that have been done during the week by one of those invisible ministers. It might take a little bit of detective work to find out who did what, but you may just make someone's day when you thank them for their contribution to your church.

2)Don't complain: So the coffee is a bit strong. Complaining aloud can be defeating for the person who actually arrived early to make it. Keep negative thoughts and comments to yourself.

The church needs its invisible ministers just as much as its visible ministers. So let them know just how much you appreciate the things that they do!

Finding Your Sabbatical

I've been spending time lately pondering the idea of "Sabbatical." Sabbaticals are increasingly common these days in both the Christian and the secular professional world. The original idea, though, has its roots in early Hebrew tradition.

Sabbatical, in a nutshell, relates to the early command that God gave to Moses to pass on to the Jewish people. The story is found in Leviticus 25, which recounts God instructing the Jews to sow their fields for six years, and then let the fields rest in the seventh year, or the Sabbath (Sabbatical) year.

Sabbaticals in the secular market are typically associated with institutions of higher learning: professors are often granted a term of "sabbatical" from their teaching posts. These are not necessarily granted automatically, but are based on a professor's longevity, job performance, level of education, and more often than not, what he or she plans to do with his/her time of sabbatical. Usually university instructors embark on a sabbatical to conduct research or study which directly relates to his/her particular niche.

Universities are not the only work places to grant sabbaticals anymore though. The idea is catching on with other workplaces, including some of today's churches and even denominations as a whole.

Perhaps in an ideal world we could all take a sabbatical year. Imagine a year off to pursue rest, renewal and spiritual growth. I could certainly use some of that! However, this is just not the reality for most of us in the real world.

And yet the concept is so appealing, I've been pondering just how to work some sabbatical into my own life, without actually having to quit my work (I am my own boss, and the boss says her kids need to eat this year.) I've managed to come across some creative ideas, and one or more of them may work for you:

1) Re-focus your Sabbath: Christians are already warm to the idea of taking a Sabbath day each week as a day of rest. Many times though we don't do this. Put some sabbatical into your week by revisioning your Sabbath day, whatever day that happens to be. For some it can't be Sunday, because in our seven-days-a-week world Sunday is a workday. If that's the case, take whatever day you do happen to have off, and actually use it to pursue your sabbatical goals.

2) Give up an activity or obligation for a period of time: For many (like me) there just aren't any hours left in the day to pursue new goals. I've decided that I'm taking my own six month sabbatical from one of my current activities, and will instead use the time I would normally devote to that activity to pursuing my Sabbatical interests. (Just don't give up walking the dog or taking out the garbage.... those are the kinds of activities you'll really regret ignoring eventually.)

3) Choose a small, daily sabbatical: If you can't part with any of your activities or responsibilities over a longer period of time, set aside twenty or thirty minutes (or more) a day as your sabbatical. This might mean sending the kids to bed a little bit earlier (they might fight it now, but they'll thank you later when you're calm, serene and easier to live with,) cutting corners on housework (nobody inspects under your beds... let the dust bunnies accumulate for awhile,) cooking simpler meals (you can make almost any meal from a box or bag in under twenty minutes,)or getting your head shaved so you don't have to do your hair anymore (I dare you to try that one.) Again, you don't have to carry this on for the duration of your life. Pick a period of time, say three to six months, to carry out this particular goal. Afterwards, call in the professional duct cleaners with their industrial-strength vacuum cleaners to tackle those killer dust bunnies.

There's no rule about what to do with your sabbatical, though the ultimate goal should be to grow closer to God. For my sabbatical, I plan to take more nature walks and have coffee at least once per week with someone from church. (Remember, coffee is my new ministry!) I look forward to what God is going to do in my life in the next six months.

Coffee is my New Ministry

Let me clarify that a bit: not making coffee, or serving coffee (although both of those are also wonderful ministries. Someone's gotta make the Sunday morning brew!) Having coffee is my new ministry.

I have to admit that for several years now I've felt as though something was missing from my volunteer ministry portfolio. Like many pastor's wives, I've done a gamut of jobs around the church. Some of them I've really liked (singing on a worship team for instance) and others, well.... not so much (leading a week of VBS for three and four year olds. Some people are really good with preschoolers. I am not one of those people.) In fact, there are many weeks when I've wondered why I don't just set up a bed in my husband's office. I spend so much time at the church that I think it would just be less trouble not to have to go home at night.

Yet I can't help but find it funny that even though I can spend hours and hours at the church "doing ministry," I often don't feel as though I've actually FELLOWSHIPPED with other people. I think the problem is threefold, at least for me:

1) Churches tend to be program-oriented: Aren't we all about our programs? Children's programs, youth programs, women's programs, men's programs, outreach programs.... the list goes on. And the bigger the church, the more programs there are. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in creating, executing and maintaining programs that we run out of time to just hang out with each other. We frequently find this to be true as a team of staff and spouses at our church: each staff member is so busy running his or her own programs that it's difficult to find time for us to get together just to have fun.

2) Tasks over people: Sure, we could fellowship with the people that we serve with in ministry. And sometimes I do. But the problem is that often when we are serving we are so focused on completing the task of getting the job done (cooking the pancakes for the men's breakfast, making prayer leaflets for the prayer team, keeping the Sunday School kids from coloring on the walls) that we really don't have time for quality fellowship with those with whom we are volunteering. (Have you ever tried to carry on a personal conversation with someone while counting the Sunday morning offering?)

3) Task-oriented personality: This is my major problem. Some people don't have this issue, but those like me who do tend to miss out on the most fellowship. My workaholic nature makes it hard for me to simply sit and drink coffee for an hour. It's hard for me to settle down when I know that there's work to be done, dinner to be cooked, homework to help with, etc. Who has time for coffee? And yet I know that spending time with people in a small and personal setting is crucial for developing and nurturing relationships. It is these core relationships that will strengthen the body of believers and the church as a whole. Doing church without building upon personal relationships is like constructing a house without a foundation.

Our church has gone through some rough times in recent months, and throughout it all I've found that it's been the personal relationships that I've developed within the church that have helped keep me going. I've had numerous coffee invitations in the last while, because people are reaching out and clinging to what is most important in a church when hard times hit: personal relationships.

There is good reason that the writer of Hebrews instructed us "Not [to] give up meeting together" (Hebrews 10:25.) I've come to believe that this applies not only to the assembling together of saints for corporate worship, but also to getting together one on one and with small groups to nurture and encourage one another. I am beginning to learn and appreciate anew how important it is to just take time to be with other people. I believe that "doing coffee" is as vital a ministry as any in the church.

Anyone else agree? Call me, we'll do coffee ministry together!

What if Church was Like Fast Food?

Megan was shocked when she walked into church that Sunday morning. A line-up of church-goers snaked almost to the door. She stood on her tiptoes to see what the line-up was for.

Straining to look over the heads of the crowd in front of her, she realized that the line began at a counter. Over the counter was a menu board, like the kind you'd find at McDonalds. On it were thousands of songs, sermon topics, and other items like "baptism," "church membership," "tithe (with a fill-in-the-blank for the amount)" and even a "no-tithe, no financial appeal" option.

"Wow," Megan thought, "This is great! Finally, a church experience that's tailored just for ME!."

Of course, waiting in line was a bit of a hassle. But, Megan figured, it would be worth it.

As she got closer to the front of the line she overheard others placing their orders.

"I'd like four hymns with a side of pipe organ, and PLEASE hold the drums" an elderly woman said. "I can't STAND drums!"

Beside her a teenager with blue hair and a lip ring asked, "Do you have the punk version of "Blessed Be Your Name?"

One of the ladies behind the counter was saying to the man in her queue, "The usual today Mr. Johnson?" Mr. Johnson answered gruffly, "Of course, and make sure my sermon is in King James only this time!"

One young woman ordered "Extended prayer time" while still another ordered "Less prayer, otherwise I fall asleep!"

Megan couldn't believe it. When it was finally her turn to order, she picked all of her favorite worship songs, avoided hymns and brass instruments ("I HATE the saxophone!" she thought to herself), chose a sermon that would get her out of church in time to meet friends for lunch, and asked to be seated as far away from parents with babies and young children as possible ("They're just SO disturbing to my worship environment" she said the the gentleman behind the counter, who nodded knowingly in response.)

The service began shortly, and Megan was excited to see how her service order would unfold. She was certain this would be the best church service she ever experienced.

She wasn't quite prepared for the chaos that ensued. It was a cacophony of instruments, song styles, clashing instruments (like "resounding gongs and clanging cymbals" she'd thought to herself. "Funny, I never quite understood that passage like that....") When it was time for her sermon, she could barely hear it over all the shouting; different verses, passages, topics and translations (even a few foreign languages... the guy next to her thought he detected Aramaic in the mix. "Must be one of those Bible purists" he'd commented to her) swarmed around her so that she couldn't distinguish anything at all. She couldn't even tell when her program had ended, what with all of the singing and praying aloud still going on all around her.

Megan finally gave up and left. "Maybe," she wondered, "This isn't as great as I thought it would be. Wouldn't it be easier if we all just gave in a little, or even a lot, and just enjoyed worshipping together? After all," she reasoned, "I guess it IS really supposed to be about God, right?"