Friday, January 1, 2010

Friday Funnies: Ten Signs Your Church Might be Suffering from the Economic Crisis

1) The Pastor instructs the ushers to lock the auditorium doors at the start of the Sunday service and then threatens to keep preaching until the offering plates are full.

2) The Catholics and Anglicans switch from wine to grape juice and the Baptists and Methodists switch from grape juice to kool-aid for communion.

3) The Pastor's kids come to church wearing potato sacks.

4) The youth group resorts to busking on downtown streets for fundraising.

5) The missionaries take up a love offering for the home church.

6) Baptisms take a sharp decline due to the lack of hot water in the baptismal tank, except in July and August when the building committee dictates a moratorium on the use of the air conditioner to save money.

7) The trustees board tries to pass off church roof leaks as "Showers of Blessing."

8) The Mortgage-Burning Celebration is postponed indefinitely as financial goals are re-adjusted. A Parking-Lot Line Painting Party is planned instead to compensate. (Please bring your own yellow paint.)

9) All evening church services become Candlelight Services.

10) A Toilet-Paper Drive is planned after the janitorial supplies run out.


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A New Year is often more than just a calendar change. A New Year signals new beginnings, and Church Coffee is about to undergo its own changes beginning next week. Watch for those changes on January 6.

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