Finding Your Sabbatical

I've been spending time lately pondering the idea of "Sabbatical." Sabbaticals are increasingly common these days in both the Christian and the secular professional world. The original idea, though, has its roots in early Hebrew tradition.

Sabbatical, in a nutshell, relates to the early command that God gave to Moses to pass on to the Jewish people. The story is found in Leviticus 25, which recounts God instructing the Jews to sow their fields for six years, and then let the fields rest in the seventh year, or the Sabbath (Sabbatical) year.

Sabbaticals in the secular market are typically associated with institutions of higher learning: professors are often granted a term of "sabbatical" from their teaching posts. These are not necessarily granted automatically, but are based on a professor's longevity, job performance, level of education, and more often than not, what he or she plans to do with his/her time of sabbatical. Usually university instructors embark on a sabbatical to conduct research or study which directly relates to his/her particular niche.

Universities are not the only work places to grant sabbaticals anymore though. The idea is catching on with other workplaces, including some of today's churches and even denominations as a whole.

Perhaps in an ideal world we could all take a sabbatical year. Imagine a year off to pursue rest, renewal and spiritual growth. I could certainly use some of that! However, this is just not the reality for most of us in the real world.

And yet the concept is so appealing, I've been pondering just how to work some sabbatical into my own life, without actually having to quit my work (I am my own boss, and the boss says her kids need to eat this year.) I've managed to come across some creative ideas, and one or more of them may work for you:

1) Re-focus your Sabbath: Christians are already warm to the idea of taking a Sabbath day each week as a day of rest. Many times though we don't do this. Put some sabbatical into your week by revisioning your Sabbath day, whatever day that happens to be. For some it can't be Sunday, because in our seven-days-a-week world Sunday is a workday. If that's the case, take whatever day you do happen to have off, and actually use it to pursue your sabbatical goals.

2) Give up an activity or obligation for a period of time: For many (like me) there just aren't any hours left in the day to pursue new goals. I've decided that I'm taking my own six month sabbatical from one of my current activities, and will instead use the time I would normally devote to that activity to pursuing my Sabbatical interests. (Just don't give up walking the dog or taking out the garbage.... those are the kinds of activities you'll really regret ignoring eventually.)

3) Choose a small, daily sabbatical: If you can't part with any of your activities or responsibilities over a longer period of time, set aside twenty or thirty minutes (or more) a day as your sabbatical. This might mean sending the kids to bed a little bit earlier (they might fight it now, but they'll thank you later when you're calm, serene and easier to live with,) cutting corners on housework (nobody inspects under your beds... let the dust bunnies accumulate for awhile,) cooking simpler meals (you can make almost any meal from a box or bag in under twenty minutes,)or getting your head shaved so you don't have to do your hair anymore (I dare you to try that one.) Again, you don't have to carry this on for the duration of your life. Pick a period of time, say three to six months, to carry out this particular goal. Afterwards, call in the professional duct cleaners with their industrial-strength vacuum cleaners to tackle those killer dust bunnies.

There's no rule about what to do with your sabbatical, though the ultimate goal should be to grow closer to God. For my sabbatical, I plan to take more nature walks and have coffee at least once per week with someone from church. (Remember, coffee is my new ministry!) I look forward to what God is going to do in my life in the next six months.

Coffee is my New Ministry

Let me clarify that a bit: not making coffee, or serving coffee (although both of those are also wonderful ministries. Someone's gotta make the Sunday morning brew!) Having coffee is my new ministry.

I have to admit that for several years now I've felt as though something was missing from my volunteer ministry portfolio. Like many pastor's wives, I've done a gamut of jobs around the church. Some of them I've really liked (singing on a worship team for instance) and others, well.... not so much (leading a week of VBS for three and four year olds. Some people are really good with preschoolers. I am not one of those people.) In fact, there are many weeks when I've wondered why I don't just set up a bed in my husband's office. I spend so much time at the church that I think it would just be less trouble not to have to go home at night.

Yet I can't help but find it funny that even though I can spend hours and hours at the church "doing ministry," I often don't feel as though I've actually FELLOWSHIPPED with other people. I think the problem is threefold, at least for me:

1) Churches tend to be program-oriented: Aren't we all about our programs? Children's programs, youth programs, women's programs, men's programs, outreach programs.... the list goes on. And the bigger the church, the more programs there are. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in creating, executing and maintaining programs that we run out of time to just hang out with each other. We frequently find this to be true as a team of staff and spouses at our church: each staff member is so busy running his or her own programs that it's difficult to find time for us to get together just to have fun.

2) Tasks over people: Sure, we could fellowship with the people that we serve with in ministry. And sometimes I do. But the problem is that often when we are serving we are so focused on completing the task of getting the job done (cooking the pancakes for the men's breakfast, making prayer leaflets for the prayer team, keeping the Sunday School kids from coloring on the walls) that we really don't have time for quality fellowship with those with whom we are volunteering. (Have you ever tried to carry on a personal conversation with someone while counting the Sunday morning offering?)

3) Task-oriented personality: This is my major problem. Some people don't have this issue, but those like me who do tend to miss out on the most fellowship. My workaholic nature makes it hard for me to simply sit and drink coffee for an hour. It's hard for me to settle down when I know that there's work to be done, dinner to be cooked, homework to help with, etc. Who has time for coffee? And yet I know that spending time with people in a small and personal setting is crucial for developing and nurturing relationships. It is these core relationships that will strengthen the body of believers and the church as a whole. Doing church without building upon personal relationships is like constructing a house without a foundation.

Our church has gone through some rough times in recent months, and throughout it all I've found that it's been the personal relationships that I've developed within the church that have helped keep me going. I've had numerous coffee invitations in the last while, because people are reaching out and clinging to what is most important in a church when hard times hit: personal relationships.

There is good reason that the writer of Hebrews instructed us "Not [to] give up meeting together" (Hebrews 10:25.) I've come to believe that this applies not only to the assembling together of saints for corporate worship, but also to getting together one on one and with small groups to nurture and encourage one another. I am beginning to learn and appreciate anew how important it is to just take time to be with other people. I believe that "doing coffee" is as vital a ministry as any in the church.

Anyone else agree? Call me, we'll do coffee ministry together!

What if Church was Like Fast Food?

Megan was shocked when she walked into church that Sunday morning. A line-up of church-goers snaked almost to the door. She stood on her tiptoes to see what the line-up was for.

Straining to look over the heads of the crowd in front of her, she realized that the line began at a counter. Over the counter was a menu board, like the kind you'd find at McDonalds. On it were thousands of songs, sermon topics, and other items like "baptism," "church membership," "tithe (with a fill-in-the-blank for the amount)" and even a "no-tithe, no financial appeal" option.

"Wow," Megan thought, "This is great! Finally, a church experience that's tailored just for ME!."

Of course, waiting in line was a bit of a hassle. But, Megan figured, it would be worth it.

As she got closer to the front of the line she overheard others placing their orders.

"I'd like four hymns with a side of pipe organ, and PLEASE hold the drums" an elderly woman said. "I can't STAND drums!"

Beside her a teenager with blue hair and a lip ring asked, "Do you have the punk version of "Blessed Be Your Name?"

One of the ladies behind the counter was saying to the man in her queue, "The usual today Mr. Johnson?" Mr. Johnson answered gruffly, "Of course, and make sure my sermon is in King James only this time!"

One young woman ordered "Extended prayer time" while still another ordered "Less prayer, otherwise I fall asleep!"

Megan couldn't believe it. When it was finally her turn to order, she picked all of her favorite worship songs, avoided hymns and brass instruments ("I HATE the saxophone!" she thought to herself), chose a sermon that would get her out of church in time to meet friends for lunch, and asked to be seated as far away from parents with babies and young children as possible ("They're just SO disturbing to my worship environment" she said the the gentleman behind the counter, who nodded knowingly in response.)

The service began shortly, and Megan was excited to see how her service order would unfold. She was certain this would be the best church service she ever experienced.

She wasn't quite prepared for the chaos that ensued. It was a cacophony of instruments, song styles, clashing instruments (like "resounding gongs and clanging cymbals" she'd thought to herself. "Funny, I never quite understood that passage like that....") When it was time for her sermon, she could barely hear it over all the shouting; different verses, passages, topics and translations (even a few foreign languages... the guy next to her thought he detected Aramaic in the mix. "Must be one of those Bible purists" he'd commented to her) swarmed around her so that she couldn't distinguish anything at all. She couldn't even tell when her program had ended, what with all of the singing and praying aloud still going on all around her.

Megan finally gave up and left. "Maybe," she wondered, "This isn't as great as I thought it would be. Wouldn't it be easier if we all just gave in a little, or even a lot, and just enjoyed worshipping together? After all," she reasoned, "I guess it IS really supposed to be about God, right?"

Parent Involvement is Critical to Kids' "Faith Success"

If you have school-age children, you've probably already heard how crucial parent involvement is to a child's educational success. Children whose parents are actively involved in their kids' school experience have significantly higher graduation and lower school drop-out rates, better grades, a larger number of positive peer friendships, more consistent school attendance, and higher acceptance rates into post-secondary institutions than kids whose parents take a "hands-off" approach.

What parents often don't realize is that these same statistics and principles translate over into a child or teenager's church and faith experience. Of course, a parent cannot make a decision of faith in Christ for his or her child any more than a parent can do a child's homework for him and expect that he will go on to graduate university and be successful in the workplace. But parents CAN create an environment in which a child's interest in faith in Christ is piqued, accepted, nurtured and embraced. One simple but highly effective way to do this is to volunteer in church ministries that involve their children.

Sometimes this notion is a scary one to parents, especially when it comes to parents of teenagers. See if you've heard (or used) one of these common objections as reasons not to volunteer in your child's youth group:

* I don't want to invade my kid's space.

* He/she doesn't want me there.

* I don't think I'm cut out to work with teens.

These feelings are common, but they're misgivings that are usually unfounded and can easily be worked through (or around.)

The reality is, you don't have to lead a weekly youth Bible study to influence your child's "faith success" (unless that's what you're wired for... if so, you're a youth pastor's dream!) You can simply volunteer to chaperon the occasional youth road trip, pitch in at the concession stand or in the kitchen, or one more of a hundred small jobs that every youth pastor needs filled from time to time but doesn't require an ongoing commitment. You can be a presence within your child's youth group without being overbearing or "in his face."

Did you know that teens whose parents are involved with their kids' youth group experience are more likely to accept Christ at a younger age, have a higher rate of church attendance and lower church drop out rate after graduation, are bolder about sharing their faith with others, are more likely to seek baptism and church membership, more eager to volunteer for their own ministries within the church, and less likely to abandon their faith as adults than teens whose parents are not involved? These are some motivating reasons for parents to consider sticking around and helping out once in awhile rather than dropping their kids off for their youth group activities.

Ministering to the Hurting: Three Things NOT to Say to Someone in Grief

Ministering to someone who has experienced a tragedy or loss (family death, accident, etc.)comes easier to some people in the church than others. Even professional pastors sometimes struggle to find the right words to comfort someone who is grieving.

My own experiences with grieving (both my own and others'), and the example set for me by the pastor of my own church, has taught me a great deal about how to minister to those who have experienced loss. I am by no means an expert on grieving. Rather, I have been able to draw from my own life circumstances, particularly the loss of my first baby, and have become more sensitive to the hurting, and more careful about the words that I use when I offer comfort. Those who helped my husband and I the most during our time of loss were those who did not minimize our experience by offering words such as these:

1) "I understand how you feel." These are well-intentioned words when used to try to comfort someone. However, many times this only minimizes the pain that a person is feeling, because unless you have actually been through the same type of loss, there really is no way that you can fully understand. In essence, it's like saying to him or her: "Your situation is not unique." In reality, every loss is different.

If you haven't experienced the same type of loss, a better phrase of comfort to use is "I am sorry for your loss." If you have been through a similar loss, try to identify with the person by using your own experience as a conversation starter to try to help the other person identify his or her own feelings: "When my husband died, I felt so alone, and like I didn't fit in with my old group of friends anymore. Is that how you are feeling?" Whether you can empathize or not, simply asking what kind of emotions the other person is experiencing can show that you care, and that you're genuinely interested in that person's unique situation.

2) "It will get better with time." This response to grief can come across as cold hearted. After a loss, a person may believe that he or she will never heal. It's not really practical to tell someone they will feel better in a week or a month or a year, because someone who is grieving wants to feel better now, not in a month. The first hours, days and weeks after a tragic loss is a dark time, and while you can't reverse the person's loss, you can use words like: "I will be here and I will walk with you every step of the way." This lets the grieving person know that he or she is not alone, and that you'll be there for as long as the healing takes.

3) "Let me know if you need anything." These are also well-intentioned words. But the truth is that people who are grieving often don't know what it is that they need. And like most people, grieving or otherwise, no one really likes to ask for help, and your grieving friend probably won't.

Instead, take initiative and offer specific and practical help. Think about all of the everyday things that may fall to the wayside during a period of grief, like cooking and housecleaning. Tell your friend that you are going to come over and clean her house for her. Or, prepare a dinner for him and simply drop it off at his house. There are dozens of practical ways to help someone who is suffering, and that person will be grateful to have one less meal to cook or to come home to a clean house when she least feels like doing those things for herself.

Above all, it's important to remember that there are no magic words for someone who is grieving. You don't have to feel as though you need to deliver sage advice. A hug goes a lot further than a "word of wisdom" with someone who is grieving.