Coming to Terms: When God Throws a Curveball

I've found myself pondering the meaning of "coming to terms" a lot lately. I'd always assumed the phrase meant coming to accept a particular life situation, usually in reference to a crisis or unexpected event. For example, "I've come to terms with my cancer," or some such circumstance.

But like so many other words, phrases and euphemisms in the English language, etymology often becomes muddled with the passage of time. It's sometimes surprising to find that common, ordinary words and phrases have colorful and prodigious origins.

So I set out to find the origin of "coming to terms." My quick desktop study revealed something eye-opening, a meaning that I had recently started to suspect was closer to the truth than merely "coming to accept."

I have yet to discover from whence the phrase exacted, but "coming to terms" actually refers to a bargaining process between two parties. When two entities are striking a contract, they must agree on the "terms" of the contract before either or both are willing to sign. Otherwise, parties may be bound to points or clauses which are disagreeable or even detrimental to their own interests.

And so, bargaining begins. Each side gives its own input. A draft contract is written. Then both sides examine the "terms" of the contract. If each entity finds the terms acceptable, they sign the contract. If not, they go back to bargaining, or trying to "come to terms."

Sometimes one or both sides have to give in a little, or even a lot, in order to achieve a contract that represents the best interests of each one. The cost of giving in on one or more "terms" must be weighed against the benefits of the overall contract. If the benefits outweigh those costs, then the two parties have "come to terms."

So what happens when you apply this idea to the Christian life? What happens when God throws you a curveball? You didn't ask for it, you didn't expect it, and you most certainly didn't want it. Whether it's a terminal illness, the death of a loved one or the loss of a career, is it fair to ask me to "come to terms" with it when God never consulted me first? The ball is already in play, but I didn't get a chance to weigh in on the "terms." So how, exactly, do I "come to terms" when the terms, and subsequently, the Author of those terms, cannot be bargained with?

I recently found myself pondering a curveball of my own, tempted once again to say "It's not fair." If only God would allow for changes to Term X, then I would gladly give in on Term Y. He and I could "come to terms" fairly, and this whole mess would be less painful for me.

But God cannot be bargained with. In reality, God does not ask for His children to "come to terms" with Him and His plans. Instead, He writes the contract, and then requires us to sign "as is." There is no bargaining, no pleading, no offering of favors in exchange for favors. I must simply accept whatever curveball He throws me.

Fortunately though, I do have a choice of responses. I can either stand there and be stubborn while a ball flies straight for my head (which would surely lead to more pain and disaster), or, I can accept His curveball and partake in His promise: "I will never leave you or forsake you." This particular promise, first delivered to Joshua in Deuteronomy 31:6, is repeated numerous times throughout the rest of the Bible.

Once the curveball has left the glove, there's no sending it back. So I guess I can either let it hit me in the face, or I can pick up my bat and smack it out of the park. I'll just have to make sure I ask for the biggest bat God has.