Have You Had Your Iron Today?

I've been reading a book* entitled You Matter More than You Think by Dr. Leslie Parrott. It's an introspective journey by the author to find meaning in her life. It's less about trying to pursue something bigger and better than what you already have.... a more lucrative job, a bigger house, more refined and cultured children... than it is about realizing that whatever we happen to be doing already is the most important, and indeed, the ONLY thing that matters right now. And it matters a great deal more than most of us believe or realize.

As part of one's own journey of discovery, Dr. Parrott encourages her readers to pursue a meaningful mentoring relationship. The idea is that, hopefully, by developing such a relationship, one that is based on mutual love for God and respect for one another, that individuals will better be able to discover just how much their own lives really matter.

"As iron sharpens iron, so one man [or woman] sharpens another." That's from Proverbs 27:17. It's one of my favorite verses, because it evokes such a powerful mental picture of what a godly friendship/mentoring relationship should look like, and what can result from it.

I have a very close friend who is my "iron." We were initially drawn to each other because our husbands were both pastors. As I got to know her better, I discovered we had a lot more than professional ministry, or should I say, being "ministry widows," (a little tongue in cheek here) in common.

Dr. Parrott strongly emphasizes the deliberate pursuit of mentoring relationships, even if it means figuratively throwing yourself at the feet of someone that you may not even know, but simply admire from afar and respect as someone mature in the Christian faith, someone who could challenge you to be all that you can be in Christ. It might even require going out of one's comfort zone and mustering up courage to literally "cold call" on someone, perhaps in the lobby after church, in the lunch room at work, even on the phone.

This is how I got to know my "iron." Though I was fairly certain we had a lot in common, she's twenty years older than I am. I wasn't sure she'd even give me the time of day. "What in the world could I offer in such a relationship?" I couldn't help but wonder. But my admiration for her eventually outweighed my misgivings and made it worth a try. (The worst that could happen was that I could fall flat on my face, right? Been there, done that. At least I'd be no worse off than I already was!)

The analogy of "iron" to describe a mentoring friendship is about the most vivid, picturesque one I know. Back in the Old Testament years when iron was the latest in tool and weaponry technology, civilizations that had stumbled upon it hoarded it and guarded it as closely as Bill Gates does with his newest software developments, lest the entity loses its competitive advantage.

Iron was harder and stronger than any other tools or weaponry at the time, and the people that possessed the technology to fashion it, in this case the Philistines, were at the top of the food chain. Even the Israelites, historical rivals and sometimes enemies of the Philistines, took their own tools to the Philistines for sharpening because they had the corner on the iron market (1 Samuel 13: 19-21.) No one but the Philistines could give the old axe or hoe such a flawless edge. Their iron tools could sharpen even the dullest plowshare. And so the Israelites swallowed their pride and put aside petty rivalry for the sake of efficiently producing better crops.

Of course like all smart technological advances, the secret gets out eventually, either through thievery, bribery or experimentation. When the iron secret leaked out, the Philistines had to find a new competitive advantage. (Later they would unveil another of their latest weapons: Goliath, only to have him felled by a mere slip of a shepherd boy too small to even carry a shield.)

The iron metaphor is very true of my own relationship with my mentor. After praying it over and mustering up the courage to begin a friendship with her, I found myself wondering why I hadn't tried it sooner. The relationship has been the source of blessings so incredible that there are few words to describe it. My "iron" sharpens me by listening without judgment or criticism, even as I confess things that others might find shocking. She accepts and embraces me for who I am, mistakes, shortcomings and all. She offers practical advice without being pushy or expecting me to do things exactly as she would. She looks past the outside and sees who I really am inside. She loves me, I think, not in spite of my idiosyncrasies, but because of them.

We get together fairly regularly. Sometimes we pour out our angst to one another. Sometimes we just talk about life, work, kids, recipes, hair or shopping. We go for walks or out for coffee. We often end our times together by praying with and for one another. We aren't moving mountains, not literally anyway, but I know that she is making a difference in my life nonetheless, keeping me sharp, being my iron.

So, have you had your iron lately? I'm inclined to agree with Dr. Parrott: we all need a little bit of "iron" in our "diets." Without "iron" with which to be sharpened by, we are in danger of losing that cutting edge. Literally.

*Parrott, Dr. Leslie. You Matter More Than You Think. Zondervan Publishing. Grand Rapids. 2006. Ironically, this book was given to me by my "iron" mentor.